It's Not Stalking If You're Included
by redwalgrl-RG
Summary: Prussia has always been watching Austria and Hungary. He's not very good at it either, and can't seem to keep his mouth shut. AustriaHungary, Prussia voyeur.


**A/N: The section in italics is a flashback, regular text is modern day. Please ignore any inaccuracies in the time line. I fail at that sort of thing. Thanks for reading!**

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"You know, this is the first time I've ever actually seen you on top of her. She's usually got you whipped, Rod."

"W-would you shut up?"

It was quite a far cry from the aristocrat's usual stoic demeanor, but that made it even more hilarious to the once-nation sitting on the end of the bed. It hadn't always been like this, of course--Hungary had nearly killed him when she first found out, and then he'd fled back to West and tried to wage another Great War (which didn't go over so well, by the way). But things had calmed down, and it seemed that Hungary was finally allowing him to watch without any more comments.

Though she did find a way to toss one of her large shoes at him. Prussia ducked just in time. "You guys remember that one time? You know the one."

"After our marriage?" Hungary asked, keeping her eyes focused on Austria as she moved to meet him again. Her voice was always unhindered when she talked during sex. Prussia found it incredibly kinky.

"He saw that!?"

"Heheh, I've seen it all, Roddy-baby!" Prussia chortled. He folded his arms up behind his head, watching the duo continue moving in unison. Maybe someday they'd even let him join in. Nah, Hungary wanted Austria's sweet ass all to herself. Selfish bitch, he thought. But it hadn't always been like that. He remembered back when they'd hide under Austria's window and make fun of his piano-playing. Ah, the good days... before he found out Hungary was actually a [i]woman[/i]. It still freaked him out, to think of how manly she'd acted as a child.

"I was talking about that one time, you remember, 'Liz--the night after Holy Roman Empire ran off and got himself killed?"

"Don't... aaahh--Don't say it like that, G-Gilbert," Austria hissed between clenched teeth.

Prussia tilted his head. "Oh yeah, that's right, you don't like thinking about how you screwed up raising him, right?"

Hungary cut off the fight before it started by silencing Austria with a kiss. Prussia rolled his eyes theatrically. "Well I'll just tell you, so listen up. My stories are always the damn best anyway."

"Get on with it."

"So after the Holy Roman Empire ran off from your house that morning, and Italy was being even more of a crybaby than usual..."

_He'd watched her clean his house top to bottom, even polishing the candlesticks. He'd watched her move around so effortlessly in that dress, and wondered how she did it. She'd been a "he" for her entire life, and now suddenly she made the perfect woman? The Prussian shot a glare at the Austrian through the window, though still remained unspotted in his usual position, high in the tree outside the piano room. "He took her away from me," He pouted, red-violet eyes following the man until he was gone from the room. "Hungary was my best friend. Why did he have to take her?" They were growing up. He knew he'd have to let Hungary go eventually, and that they'd fight sometimes... but this was the ultimate betrayal. Didn't she know how much he hated Austria? Austria was always poking his nose in Prussia's business, and then he was even trying to get Germany under his control! Germany was just a kid, he didn't know any better. So Prussia blamed Austria for it._

_Hungary entered the piano room next, dusting off the top of the piano and humming a foreign tune. Prussia only caught the occasional note, but couldn't possibly tell what the song was. Probably something Austria had written, he thought with a smoldering glare aimed at the piano. "Why doesn't she ever come visit me? She doesn't even write." Maybe Austria wasn't allowing her to. That controlling bastard! Prussia folded his arms and sulked. He should probably get going, Germany couldn't be trusted on his own. That kid would probably try to separate all the Germatic states or something..._

_He was already worming his way down the tree when he heard voices. The deeper one was clearly the Austrian, and the other was Hungary's (which sounded far more feminine than he remembered--was that only because he knew she was a girl now?). Back up into the branches he went, pushing a few leaves out of his way for a better look. Austria had his hands on the piano, fingers trailing over the keys lightly while Hungary went on and on--Prussia assumed it was praise for a song Austria had written, or something equally ridiculous._

_And suddenly, the musician leaned over and planted a kiss on her lips. Apparently she was as surprised as Prussia was, for their expressions mirrored surprise (though Prussia's had quite a bit of horror as well). "What! How dare he!" He wondered when he'd decided that Hungary was his, but also figured it wasn't the best time to go down that train of thought. Austria said something and moved forward, adjusting Hungary's sleeve properly. She went red, and Prussia leaned forward._

_"They're going to do it. Oh God, they're going to have sex, right here." He was surprised to find awe in his voice, but the once-Teutonic Knight certainly didn't have the kind of experience with these things as he always claimed. Chastity was a virtue, after all, and he still had some values left. "Oh God," He repeated as Hungary reached to undo Austria's necktie and coat. "Oh God," He added as Austria undid the apron and back of her dress. "Oh [b]God[/b]," It became a quiet chant of some sort. Perhaps he'd meant it as a reminder of days gone by--of what he had been and what he still was--but either way, Prussia felt the heat pool in his groin and shifted uncomfortably. "Dear God..."_

_Apparently Austria didn't want to have sex on his piano, for he led Hungary over to the couch at the far end of the room ("Dammit, I can't see!"). Prussia slipped down the tree (far more awkward than he'd care to admit), and scurried up to the window, peeking over the edge. Ah yes, that was better. "Hey wait, what's he doing on the bottom? I thought the guy was supposed to--"_

_His thoughts were cut off as he watched Hungary work herself over Austria skillfully. This wasn't the first time for her, was it? She knew what she was doing, and Austria seemed pretty damn pleased with himself. "Bastard," It was stated in awe. He'd seduced Hungary so easily! How did he do it? She'd usually just beat him if he made any kind of remark that could be taken romantically. Or sexually. "God," He repeated again._

_His own fingers were drifting downward as the duo moved on, and he couldn't help but think that this would be perfectly accompanied by the musician's music. A symphony, created between their two bodies. Haha, he could be literary and artistic too--take that Austrians! "Ah... What am I doing?" Prussia stopped himself. "Dammit, I could so get with either of them! I don't have to just stand here and watch!"_

_"...Did you hear something?"_

_Apparently the window had been left open. "Oh. Shit." Prussia summed it up quite well._

"...And then after that I ended up getting all the sex I wanted!"

Austria and Hungary stared, both of them paused in the middle of their act. The expression on both their faces was obvious irritation. "Are you quite finished now, Gilbert?" Austria asked.

"Nah, I was planning on telling the story about that one time Hungary got the strap-on--"

A frying pan collided with the side of his head, and Prussia fell off the bed in an unconscious heap.

"Shall we continue, Eliza, dear?"

"Yes, I think we shall, Roddy-darling."

"Please don't use his nickname for me."

"Hee hee... I think it's kind of cute…"


End file.
